Scars + Timeline

 

 

I saw this picture online the other day and it had resonance with me. Reflecting on my past struggles made me realize that I have a lot of scars, not only physically but emotionally and spiritually. Since this is a blog about our struggle with infertility and journey through IVF, I want to talk briefly about some of my scars. When you find someone walking down the street with visible scars on their face or extremities you might find yourself looking at that person, wondering what that person had been through to cause those imperfect marks on their body. What is their story? Did those scars change their life? Well I happen to have several visible scars on my body, most can be covered with clothes but they are there and I see them everyday. Most days I think nothing of them mostly because I see them everyday and I know what they are from. But today I thought about those scars and they reminded me that each one of those scars has not only changed the path of my life but they have made me who I am today. The ongoing struggle with infertility has given me many scars, mostly emotionally but I do have several physical scars from infertility. I literally only have 1 vein in my left arm because of my previous chemotherapy that is stuck everytime I go in the fertility clinic for blood and there is a permanent scar there now.  Each time I look down at my arm I see the needle marks there and those marks remind me of the journey we are taking to one day receiving that blessed baby that we will one day hold in our arms and those bruises and marks will seem like mere nothings. As we long for the day that we will hold that baby in our arms, I am simply reminded that the scars are leading us there and even though we aren't there yet, we will be there soon. Every scar physically and emotionally from this journey will not only be there to remind us of the journey but they are shaping us to be better Christians, better people, and better parents that we would have been without them. 

 

Speaking of scars, I received another internally yesterday as I had an HSG (hysterosalpingogram). Its a test where they insert a catheter into your uterus and inject dye under xray to make sure the fallopian tubes are open and patent and to examine the inside of the uterus. It is not particularly comfortable and causes severe cramping. My test went well and the 1 fallopian tube that I have was perfect but OUCH! Today is an exciting day in the process cause it is the day I take my last birth control pill! YAY! Now time to move forward to the good stuff (if that's what you want to call it :/)! Thursday, I will go into the fertility clinic for ultrasound, blood work, and the endometrial scratch procedure. The scratch procedure is new for me this cycle and was added to help the embryos implant this cycle. The doctor will literally scratch multiple places in my endometrial layer in my uterus with a biopsy tool. I am told this is pretty painful and I will not be under any kind of sedation....this should be really fun (sarcasm)! This procedure will increase blood flow and white blood cells in the uterus which will help those embryos attach (kinda like burying a hole for them in my uterus). Then on Sunday (1/5), I will start the stimulation injections! The injections will make those 20+ follicles grow and hopefully produce that many eggs! I will be doing Follistim 375iu+Menopur 75iu a night and will go back into the office on Thursday (1/9) to see how they are growing! This is a significant increase in dosage from the last cycle so please specifically be praying I grow lots of them and do not get hyperstimualted which is a larger risk this cycle. I will update more frequently since things are really starting up now! Thanks for following and reading and praying with us! We are believing and hoping for our miracle(s) soon!  



Cycle #2 is underway!

It seems as if the last month has gone by soooo slow! Waiting and waiting for aunt flow to show so we could start again! But she finally came and now we can finally start our second and hopefully last IVF cycle! I went this morning for labs and a ultrasound (baselines). My ultrasound showed 20+ antral follicles and no cysts, praise God! Last IVF cycle I had 16 antral follicles and a cyst so this one is starting out much better!!!! Yay! I will start the birth control pills tonight and will take them approximately 2 weeks but I'll know specifics after I get my calendar with all the dates on it. They also want me to have a HSG procedure soon to make sure my right tube still is open and looks great. I am waiting on scheduling to call me back at this moment to schedule! So excited to start again and still so hopeful that this will work for us! Praying everyday for our little miracle(s)!

New plan for IVF #2

The healing of the previous cycle is underway and we are ready to dust ourselves off and try again! We met with Dr. Honea today and discussed the previous cycle and what would be different next time. She thought our previous cycle went good but there are a few things to tweek. First, we need more good quality eggs (had 8 this past cycle) so that we can have more good quality embryos (only ended up with 2 good quality embryos). Statistics show that cycles with more good quality embryos have higher pregnancy rates. So in order to get more good quality embryos we need to get more eggs, so they are going to increase the amount of medication I will be taking (shots). This cycle I will take 375iu Follistim and 75iu menopur (previously took 225 follistim and 75 menopur). The increase in medication will increase my estrogen which was something that needed to be tweeked. It wasn't as high as they would have liked the previous cycle. But with the increase of meds comes with an increase risk of OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) so they will be monitoring closely and they can give meds to help prevent it if it looks like I am getting close to hyperstimulating. Also they are going to do a procedure called the "scratch procedure" a few weeks before the next embryo transfer where they will scratch off a chunk of my lining in my uterus which will help the embryos implant. Studies show this procedure increases implantation rates so I'm happy they are able to do this. You had to have a negative cycle with 2 good embryos in order for them to do this so I'm glad we qualified for it. I am also starting a higher dosage of co-q10 to help improve egg quality. We can start a new cycle with my next period which should be about 4 weeks from now. Will start with birth control pills for about 2 weeks then start the shots like last time. I'm happy with the new plan and glad they are able to be more aggressive. The first cycle of IVF is considered a very expensive trial run. Now they know what to do different and what to tweek. I will post more as we start up for try number 2! Thanks for everyone's prayers and support! We love u all. :)

Results

I was hoping to never have to write this post. The words I longed to never hear again have been echoing in my ear since I received the phone call at 9:55am..."I'm so sorry Stacy, you are not pregnant"...... Regardless of how much we prayed and how much we believed and how much we did everything we could do, it just didn't work this time. Like I said yesterday, it's not a NO, it's a NOT THIS TIME. I truly do believe in Gods perfect timing and I know without a shadow of a doubt this is going to work! So while we are heartbroken today and grieving that those 2 sweet embryos didn't make my uterus their new home we will heal and try again! We appreciate everyone's prayers and encouraging words, they have certainly been felt. So what's next? We will meet with Dr. Honea on Tuesday what went wrong and what we can do different for this next cycle. I don't know when that will be though. Unfortunately our other embryos weren't able to be frozen this cycle due to their quality being very poor, so we will have to do everything all over again. I am disappointed and sad but filled with Gods love and peace which is what will carry us through the next try. Please keep us in your prayers and we will post once we know what's next. God is still GOOD!!!!

The Eve of the Beta!

Well the longest week of my life is coming to an end soon. I go for my beta (blood pregnancy test) tomorrow morning at 7:30am. I am sick at my stomach, nervous, anxious and flat out TERRIFIED!!!! I was so excited and hopeful and believing I would be pregnant this time up until Monday! Monday morning I woke up at 3:30am with so much anxiety about whether this cycle worked. I cried all morning and at work I was just a hot mess. Finally got it together mid morning and was fine the rest of the day. Yesterday I woke up at 6am and couldn't go back to sleep.... Still so anxious and worried about whether it worked or not. I hysterically cried for 3 hours. My husband told me to go get out of the house and treat myself to a pedicure. I knew the devil was placing all this fear and anxiety in me so I started blaring worship music in our house and began praying out loud. Praying that those embryos had implanted and were growing. I spoke life over them and my uterus. I felt so much peace after that. Not peace that it had worked for sure but peace that would cover me whether it worked or it didn't work. I went and got my pedicure and relaxed the rest of yesterday and felt good. Today, I'm not in an emotional state like I have been the last 2 days but I'm just still playing the "am I pregnant" game in my head. If you have never had a problem getting pregnant then u don't know that infertility consumes your thoughts. That's all I think about and talk about. When someone tells me to just relax and not think about it so much I want to punch them! (Ha, not really). There is no possible way to not think about it. We just shelled out almost 20k to have a baby so there is a lot at stake here. I have come to the realization today that no matter what happens tomorrow that God is in this 100% and he has ordained our path! If the phone rings tomorrow and I hear "I'm sorry, you are not pregnant" I'm not going to lie, I will be beyond heartbroken but it doesn't mean God is saying no, it means He is saying not this time. If it doesn't work we are thankful we get to try this 2 more times for the money we paid. We will heal and try again if it doesn't work. If it does work, we will celebrate a beautiful miracle and be so ever thankful to Jesus for this blessing. Thank you to everyone who has called or text us or sent us a Facebook message, y'all have been so encouraging and positive and I have desperately needed that! I am still believing for a miracle, but also believing in Gods perfect timing! We will conceive and have a beautiful baby or babies, if it's not this time it will be the next! I will post either tomorrow or Friday with the results! Please continue praying with us! God is good!

The Longest Week

Well it is 1 week from today that we will find out whether those precious embryos have made themselves a home for 9 months. This is going to be the longest week of my life!!!! The progesterone shots have made my rear end unbearably sore! It hurts to walk and sit! They have also sent my emotions on a major roller coaster! I "ugly cried" 3 times yesterday! Once was because I put the pic of the embryos in a frame and when I walked by them I just started sobbing! If you know me at all, you know I am not a crier! Today I was watching the tv show "Friday night lights" and I busted out crying cause the team scored a touchdown! Haha! It really is about to get fun around my house :)! My feelings about whether this will work have gone from one extreme to the other in a matter of 5 minutes! I am trying so hard to remain positive and speak life into my uterus constantly but there are moments where fear creeps in. My mom emailed me this prayer and told me to pray it over my belly daily and I have been, it is a beautiful prayer. I will post it below. I've had some twinges and light cramps from time to time. Doctor said that is completely normal and is to be expected. Implantation happens around 3-5 days after the transfer so I'm praying those sweet embryos make themselves comfy tomorrow :). Please continue to keep us in your prayers!!!

"I declare that I will bring forth a healthy child out of my womb. I call for my children to come forth out of heaven and into my womb. I speak life into my uterus. I break the power of every negative word over my body, my family, my future, and children yet to come.  I declare I will not experience placenta previa, leaking of amniotic fluid, premature miscarriage, pre-eclampsia, abnormal bleeding or any other complications. I declare that you have an appointed time for childbirth and I will not give birth before that appointed time. I declare that the placenta will adhere normally and be of correct size and in the right position to support a healthy pregnancy. I declare the fetus will implant in the right place and be securely attached to the uterine wall. I declare that all cells will divide normally and each cell will produce healing and perfect soundness as it forms new life inside of me.  I will not experience ectopic pregnancy, congenital defects, inherited disease or other abnormalities. If it is not allowed in heaven, I do not receive it. There is no disease in heaven, Father. I resist those things and declare all possible inherited generational curses broken now in Jesus name. Father, please forgive anyone in our family line that may have neglected to ask Your forgiveness for their sins. Forgive, I pray, sins of broken covenants, broken trust, idolatry, rebellion and any ungodly covenants that may have been made. Let them be broken now in Jesus name. Please forgive any inherited generational iniquitous sin and let the blood of Jesus be applied to those sins. I declare that I am a new creation in Christ and there is life in the blood. I thank You, Lord Jesus, that Your DNA flows through me to make me whole and complete in every way. I thank You for your Holy Spirit that is full of life, strength and power. Let the perfect soundness and wholeness that is in Your Spirit flow through me and release healing throughout my body. I declare no curse will pass through the blood of Christ. I submit to Your Lordship in my life and I resist the power of evil. I refuse it and declare it will not come near me. Father, I ask for a double portion of restoration. I thank You Father for continuing to show me how to pray specifically as I believe for a healthy pregnancy. In Jesus name, Amen." 

 

 

Im PUPO!!!

 

This pic was right before we went back for the embryo transfer! We got back in the procedure room and the embryologist, Dr. Honea, and ultrasound tech were all present. The embryologist went over which embryos were of the best quality today and Dr. Honea agreed and we transferred the 2 of the best quality. The transfer itself was a piece of cake, I didn't feel a thing. However, they did give me a Valium to relax so maybe that helped, lol! After the transfer, Dr. Honea wanted to pray for us so we all held hands and Dr. Honea said a beautiful prayer, I cried! I had to lay on the stretcher for about 20 minutes afterward. I had acupuncture done before and after the transfer to help me stay relaxed. Here is a picture of our 2 beautiful embryo's that are now safe and snug in my uterus!

So now I am officially PUPO which means pregnant until proven otherwise!!!! WOOHOO!! I will be resting and staying off my feet a lot today and tomorrow! My pregnancy test is a scheduled blood test at the clinic at the end of next week. We will tell our families and then announce on the blog the results regardless of positive or negative. So stay tuned and pray for those sweet embryo's to implant and grow!!! We are both just so excited and filled with hope and belief that God will give us the desires of our hearts!

Embryo Miracle!!!!

I have been a nervous wreck waiting for the phone call I just received! The embryologist just called me to give me a report and progress of our 4 embryos! She said all 4 are doing great and are growing perfectly. She said they were textbook Grade 1 which is what you want them to be! WOOOHOOO!!!! I can now breathe a sign of relief and thankfulness to God! But....she wasn't done with the update just yet.... 2 of those 4 split and are growing and multiplying their cells also so now we have 6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What?!?!?! Its an embryo miracle!!!!!! I had originally prayed for 6 and the Lord has now blessed us with 6!!!! The 2 that split are not as good of quality as the original 4 but she said they are still good...grade 2. I am just so happy! I almost started crying while on the phone with her! GOD IS SOOO GOOD!!!! The plan is still to transfer 2 of the embryos on Tuesday at 11am.... The others will be frozen and saved for future pregnancies :) Thanks again for all the prayers! We certainly feel them!

Fertilization Report

So I just got the call from the clinic.... Out of the 12 eggs that were retrieved, 8 of them were mature. They have to be mature eggs in order to perform ICSI (injecting the sperm into the egg). Out of the 8 eggs that had ICSI, 4 of them fertilized and now there are 4 baby Wooten's growing!!! YAY! My personal goal was to have at least 6 that fertilized but I am very happy with 4. I didn't want a bunch of extra embryos...I wanted just enough to have possibly 2 children with so 4 is a great number! The embryologist will call me again on Sunday morning to tell me how they are growing! Please pray that all 4 continue to grow, I will be a nervous wreck until then! I will continue to pray for peace and for Gods perfect timing and will to be done! I am believing those babies were made for such a time as this and believing that they have a God given purpose! I cannot believe Keith and I conceived babies yesterday! What a miracle that is! I am filled with emotion just writing this post as I think about how amazing this process is and that God is allowing us to experience life in a different way than most do but what an amazing journey this has been so far. I am filled with belief, promise and hope that the we will meet these babies face to face very soon!!!

So what's next in the process??? Tonight I will start taking progesterone in oil injections and will be taking 1 shot every night. Those are pretty painful and can cause terrible soreness in the buttocks and also will make me all kinds of emotional and hormonal so this next part should be lots of fun! Pray for Keith that I don't drive him crazy! :) haha! I will go back in for the embryo transfer this Tuesday at 11:00....We have to be there at 10:30am and I have to come with a full bladder which helps things apparently. I will have acupuncture before and after the transfer which helps with relaxation which is super important the day of and several days after. How many we will transfer will depend on the quality of the embryos but as of right now we want to transfer 2! Continue to pray for us and thanks so much for everyone's support, prayers, and encouragement thus far! This blog was intended to show God's faithfulness through a journey towards a miracle baby to our friends and family but we never knew how much prayer would have been directed towards us in the process so thank you all so much!

The blessed dozen!

Egg retrieval was this morning at 10:00am.... I was called back at 9:15am and signed some papers and they went over discharge instructions. They started an IV and gave me some fluids and an antibiotic in my IV...they wheeled me back to the OR about 9:50 and I had to scoot over to the OR table. They placed my legs in stirrups (like the ones they use in labor beds).... I told the nurse "this is real awkward..."  and they placed me on a cardiac monitor and vital sign monitor. They put a nasal cannula in my nose and gave me some oxygen then gave me some versed and fentanyl in my IV....I was asleep pretty quickly but I remember waking up during the retrieval and saying "ouch" I need more medicine!!! I got some more meds and went back to sleep and woke up in the recovery room. I said sooo....how many eggs did they get???? They said 12!!!!! I said, what??? 12?? WOW!!! That's amazing!!! They gave us a sheet of paper that said not all the eggs will be mature and of good quality but 12 is a wonderful starting number, especially for a girl with 1 ovary! That's just a miracle in itself! I was in a good bit of pain so they gave me some Tylenol and had some nausea but all in all I feel pretty good. Just really sore at the moment! So at this moment they are injecting Keith's sperm into my eggs and tomorrow they will call us and let us know how many fertilized! I cant wait to hear! I am hoping for at least 6 eggs to be fertilized and mature and good quality! So for now I am going to go lay down and rest and recover from todays events and celebrate by eating some Pastry Art Baby bites!!! :) Praise be to God, for He is soooo good!

Done Cooking!

The Follicles are done cooking!!! WOOHOO! Prasie GOD! So I met all the criteria with follicle size, uterine lining and lab work today which means its time to retrieve the eggs! My estrogen level today was 822 and progesterone 0.3. My uterine lining is nice and thick at 1.02cm (it needs to be at least 0.8). So tonight at 10:00pm I will take 15,000iu of HCG shot which will trigger the follicles to release the eggs (the eggs are inside the follicles). The picture above is a pic of my ovary with all the follicles on it (the follicles are the black circles). Sorry if this is somewhat detailed and over your head but many people like to know all the small details :). The retrieval is scheduled for 10:00am on Thursday morning.... we have to be there at 8:30am for prep. Tomorrow not much will happen except I have to take a Fleets Enema tomorrow night to clean out everything....yeah, thats going to be a whole lot of fun!!! hahaha! I also can only eat a light dinner and I have to drink 16oz of water before bedtime and then nothing to eat or drink after midnight. When I arrive at the clinic on Thursday morning they will start an IV and give IV antibitoics and I will have versed and fentanyl to knock me out for the procedure! The way they obtain the eggs is by needle aspiration through the vaginal wall....I know, ouch!!!! The Doctor will aspirate the fluid on every follicle on my ovary and we hope there is an egg inside each of the follicles. However, there will probably not be an egg in every single one of the follicles so thats why you want to have as many follicles as possible. They will fertilize the sperm and egg on Thursday by injecting the sperm into each egg (thats called ICSI)....We wont know how many eggs actually fertilized until Friday. Then, the eggs that fertilize will grow in a petri dish and must grow into embryos. I will go back on Tueday (a week from today) and have the embryo transfer, which is where they will transfer either 1 or 2 embryos into my uterus and it will be the little ebryos job to stick and implant in my uterus. If that take place I will be pregnant! This is a very detailed process and there will be lots of updates between now and then so check back frequently for updates! I will update on Thursday and let everyone know how many eggs they actually retrieve and how everything went. Continue to be praying for us and that my eggs are healthy and mature and we get some good fertilized eggs!

Egg Retrieval Thursday

I went this morning for another ultrasound and blood work. Today is day 9 of stims! My follicles have certainly grown a lot since the last ultrasound. The biggest 2 follicles are measuring at 1.9cm (they are considered mature at 1.8cm). I had several measuring at 1.8cm, some at 1.7, 1.6, and 1.5cm. Everything is looking great still. My estrogen is now at 654 and progesterone at 0.4. (those numbers are good)! I will take the follistim, menopur and ganirelix injections tonight and go back in the morning for another ultrasound and blood work. If everything looks good in the am I will take the HCG shot which will trigger those follicles to release the egg tomorrow night and have the egg retrieval on Thursday morning! AHHHH! I cant believe its almost here! The time is flying by so fast! God is showing Himself faithful in even the small things during this IVF cycle. My prayer everyday is that His timing is perfect and that He will show His faithfulness in every detail of this cycle! I am excited at this point but Im sure I will get nervous as we get closer to Thursday. The egg retrieval and prep for egg retrieval is pretty detailed so I will post about it tomorrow when I know officially. Continue to pray for us and thanks so much for the prayers thus far! We certainly feel them and know God is in this 100%.

14 follicles!

Today is day 7 of stims! I went for bloodwork and a ultrasound this am! I have 14 follicles growing!!!!! Wooohooo! So excited about that many growing! The largest was 1.2cm so they still need to keep growing though! I will continue the 2 different shot as I have been tonight and tomorrow I will start a different injection called Ganirelix which will prevent me from ovulating on my own. They also are starting Keith and I on an antibiotic tomorrow that we will take twice a day to prevent us from getting sick this week! I will go back on Monday morning for another ultrasound and bloodwork! Excited for the follicle growth and praying they continue to grow!my estrogen level went up to 388.2 and progesterone up to 3.7. All of those numbers are great! I'm definitely starting to feel the follicle growth as I have a lot of pressure and bloating around my ovary! Anyways, I will update again on Monday after I go to the clinic. Thank you Jesus for a good report today!

Follicles are Growing!

I had my first ultrasound and lab work since starting the injections today. Today is day 5 of stims. The ultrasound showed the follicles are growing exactly how they should be at this point. The nurse doing the ultrasound said "wow, your right ovary is covered with follicles.... you have more on 1 ovary than most do people do with 2 ovaries!" My lab work was also consistent with what they are seeing on the ultrasound. My estrogen level is 120 and progesterone is 0.2. I will continue my injections as I have been and go back Saturday morning at 7:30am for another ultrasound and more labs. So everything is going and growing as it should be! I am starting to have some cramping and the nurse said that was definitely normal with the amount of follicles I have growing! I will make another post on Saturday and update on the progress of the growing follicles! :) :) Pray those little eggies continue to grow!

Time to be a pin cushion!



The shots started last night! First one wasnt bad at all! The stick itself was small but there was some burning afterwards. I do have a small bruise on my abdomen this afternoon. I will do them at the same time every night around 8:15pm so the next one will be tonight at that time. I go back Thursday morning at 8:30am to see how the follicles are growing. I had a dream last night that they retrived 17 eggs and we had 7 embryos to freeze....that would be nice! Everything is going well. So happy the ball is actually rolling now! Continue to pray for us and that the follicles are growing like they should when we go on Thursday! We are believing and praying everyday for our sweet miracle baby!

All clear to start injections!

 

 

No, the picture above does not mean I am a drug user, it means I am an IVF patient. That is a picture of all of the drugs I will be injecting into myself starting this Sunday!!!! That's a lot of drugs and they are super expensive! And will be super painful....OUCH! My abdomen is probably going to be black and blue (that's where they will be injected into). So we went to the fertility clinic today and I had lots of labs and an ultrasound.....everything was great! Keith had to provide the sample for the eggs to fertilize with in about 2 weeks and we were officially approved for the 3 cycle shared risk program! YAY! That is a big deal cause we get to do IVF 3 times for $18,250 and if we don't bring a baby home then we get $10,500 back to do whatever with. So they take some risk with us! We unfortunately had to pay all of that money today which was hard cause we have never spent that kind of money straight up on anything! I hope this baby doesn't want a car later in life cause we spent the money to bring him/her into this world! HAHA! So now, we have the next few days off and then start the shots this Sunday night. I will do them every night of the week and go back on Thursday morning (10/24)  to see how my follicles are growing. I will post again after I start the shots to update on how they are making me feel etc.... Thanks again for reading our blog and following us on this journey we are taking. We are excited to be moving forward and ask for your continued prayers, as they are much appreciated! 



This week in review

I wanted to recap the timeline of everything going on this week since we start everything this week! I cant believe its here! Time to make a baby or 2 :)

Monday (10/14): Spa day for me to relax! WOOHOO!

Tuesday (10/15): Stop taking BC pills

Wednesday (10/16): Sperm anlysis and freeze for the egg retrieval day and suppression check which includes several labs and an ultrasound. Having acupuncture done also.

Thursday-Saturday: enjoy my last few days without having mass hormones floating around in my body :)

Sunday (10/20): Start injections: (225iu Follistim and 75iu Menopur) will take in PM in 1 shot

I will make a post on Wednesday to update on how everything went at our appointment. Just beyond ready to get off of these bc pills and start the real process! Seems like I have been taking these pills for forever! They have made my face break out and my emotions all over the place so im over these things! haha Im sure I will be saying the same thing about the shots and other things...the shots make you VERY bloated so if you see me out in public and I look pregnant, I'm not(yet), just bloated! :) Here comes all the fun! We are continuing to pray for Gods will and blessings and believing for our miracle baby! God is GOOD and FAITHFUL! So here's to the start of something amazing!

Lets get it started

 

 

I haven't updated in a while cause there hasn't been much change since I have been on the bc pills since 9/19 but today Keith and I had our IVF pre cycle visit at the fertility clinic. We met with the IVF coordinator and went over the calendar (pictured above) which lays out the specifics of our cycle. We also had to sign all the consents and go over the other tiny details in this very detailed process. Things have changed since my last post.....I will now take the bc pills till next Tuesday (10/15) and then stop them (YAY!!) so 1 more week left from today! Then, next Wednesday (10/16) we will go and Keith will provide the sample and they will freeze the sperm until it is needed the day of my egg retrieval and I will go for a suppression check (labs and ultrasound). We will also have to write the very large check to them next Wednesday...that is going to hurt!!!! Then, I will start stims which are the injections on 10/20! That is 12 days away! EEEKKK! Cant believe it is so close! I will do 225iu of Follistim and 75iu of Menopur every night. Those drugs are used to stimulate the follicles on my ovary to make them grow. I will go back to the clinic to see how the follicles are growing on the 5th day of injections which is the 24th of October. At some point, they will have me start another injection called Ganirelix which is used to prevent me from ovulating. The tentative date for the egg retrieval will be either 10/30 or 10/31 depending on how my follicles grow. The embryo transfer will be 5 days after the retrieval. So once we start the injections the process will speed up much more. I am just beyond excited to be getting started with this process. It is starting to feel real now.  I will be posting frequently once we start those injections.We ask for your continued prayers while we embark upon this process and thank you all so much for walking with us on this journey! We believe and trust God 100% and know His plan for us and our future family is just beyond what we can imagine! 



Update on the process

There has been a hiccup in the plan. I started the bc pills back on 9/19 and was suppose to only take them for 2 weeks and then starts the injections. However, all the doctors in the practice met this past Monday night to discuss what protocol would give us the best success and said that they wanted Keith to take the conception xr (sperm enhancing pills) till OCT 23 to help maximize the quality of his sperm. Well, that would put me starting shots too early so they have to synch our schedules. So I will continue to take the bc pills till October 5, then start them again on OCT 12 and take them till OCT 29 and start shots nov 3. It ends up pushing us back a whole month. While I was talking to the IVF nurse I was getting frustrated because I didnt want to have to keep waiting another month but then I was reminded by something. During the meeting the doctors had on Monday night, I specifically prayed that God would give them wisdom and that the timing of every tiny detail in this process would line up with Gods perfect timing! I wanted to be pushy with the nurse and tell her the timeline was unacceptable but instead I thanked her for explaining everything and smiled because Gods timing is always perfect and I will continue to trust and believe that! So we will keep taking our pills and keep waiting to start the injections. We have an appt on Oct 8 where we will sign all consents and they will go over every detail in the process. I did start acupuncture yesterday. It was relaxing and will do that once a week. Continue to pray for the Doctors wisdom and that the waiting will only help us draw closer to Him! I will update as soon as something else changes!

Here we go! The process has started!

Today is our first day in our IVF cycle. I cant believe its already here! I went to the doctor this am for ultrasound and lab work! The ultrasound showed 16 antral follicles on my right ovary (which is the only one I have) which is the number of potential eggs I could produce. That is a GREAT number! The ultrasound tech said that most woman with 2 ovaries don't have that many! The picture above is a picture of my ovary and the black circles are follicles. 1 or 2 of those follicles could eventually be the future baby in my tummy :) My lab work looked great for where I am in my cycle, which is day 1. Estrogen was 13, FSH 2.8, Progesterone 0.4. I will start birth control pills tonight and will take those for at least 2 weeks. All the doctors in the practice will meet Monday night to officially approve us for the shared risk program and to specify my medication protocol. They will determine how long I will be on the BC pills as well. The birth control pills will shut my ovary down and then I will start with stims (injectables) to make all those follicles mature so they can retrieve as many eggs as possible. Not all follicles will produce an egg so that's why u want as many follicles as possible. Today was a good day! Very excited to start the process! Continue to keep us in your prayers as this journey begins!

Walking Through Fire

Isaiah 43:2 "When you pass through the waters,  I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze."

As I begin to start writing this post tears run down my face. They are not tears of sadness but they are tears of gratefulness. I reflect back and think about everything I have walked through in my life and I am overjoyed that God brought me though it. It all started when I was 14, everything was normal before then. I remember being so on fire for God at that age. I remember being told that I was "anointed." What did that mean? I didn't know. On July 11, 1998, my world changed. My dad, Steve McSweeney, at the age of 39 was putting in an attic fan and a live wire struck him on his heart and killed him instantly. How could this be? How could God take my dad from me? I still needed him! I hadn't even started dating yet.... who was going to threaten all the boys for me? At his funeral, I remember seeing so many lives changed and saved. I thought to myself, I want to leave an impact on this earth like my dad did, what an amazing testimony to the life he led (well the latter part that is, haha, he was quite the wild guy before he got saved). I remember being sad but never being depressed because I knew God would care for us always, and He did! He brought a wonderful man into my moms life and she was remarried.

In December, 2000, I was told 3 of the scariest words I have ever heard... "You have cancer"! WHAT? I am 16 years old. How can I have cancer? I had a very large tumor growing on my left ovary which was cancerous. I had it removed followed by a very vigorous chemotherapy course. I lost all my hair and threw up almost daily for months and months. I was determined....determined to beat it and make God the center of everything and when I was told I was in remission, God received all the Glory. I kept a sense of humor in the midst of the storm I was currently experiencing because there was no need to cry and wallow in my sorrows. I was wondering if having an "anointing" meant walking through trial after trial because that's how it felt. Was God testing me? Was He allowing me to walk through all this to someday give Him Glory through it? I didn't know but I was going to praise Him through everything! After I was in remission, my hair grew back (very slowly might I add) and I went on to experience normal teenager experiences.... boyfriends, break ups, broken hearts, college, sorority life (thank you Jesus for forgiveness during some one those years, haha)!

Then marriage came in 2007. I wanted to have kids right away because I have always loved children so much. We tried and tried and in the middle of all that, my husband was told he was going to have to have his entire large colon removed due to severe ulcerative colitis that he was diagnosed with the week after our wedding. No meds were really helping relieve his symptoms. He had the surgery done and was in the hospital longer than expected due to some post operative complications such as an ileus and pneumonia. That was pretty rough! I had never seen Keith so sick before. Broke my heart to see him so helpless but he got better and now is doing fine from everything. So we continued to try for a baby. After we saw a fertility doctor and was told we would probably never conceive naturally and that the only option was IVF, I cried and cried and cried some more. WHY GOD??? Why are you letting me go through another storm? Haven't I been through enough? I just want a baby, that's not too much to ask, God! But I didn't really hear an answer back.... We prayed and prayed for a child. All I heard was, "in MY time, Stacy".... Well can you tell me when that is, God? Years went by... I became angry at God. Bitter towards everyone who was getting pregnant (which was everyone).... I didn't want to feel that way, but I did. If I got one more baby shower invitation in the mail I was going to lose it! After all the failed attempts to conceive and our miscarriage I was broken and in a dark place. I prayed but felt nothing. I use to think that if my sister got pregnant before I did that I would have to be sent to a mental institution..... But on May 5, 2013, my sister shower up at my front door. I knew exactly why she was there. I had known the whole day in my heart, it was as if God had been preparing me. I let her in and said "so, are you here to tell me you are pregnant?" She responded yes and began to cry, as did I. I hugged her and we cried in an embrace for a long time. Lots of thoughts went through my mind, one of which was WHY GOD??? Not again, I cant handle this, its not fair! But I told her congratulations with a smile and tried not to be bitter or angry. However, the exact opposite happened in the wake of her news. I didn't need to be sent to a mental institution. I had prayed for her pregnancy and her baby and prayed that God would rid my heart of all anger and bitterness. So, one day I woke up and was ecstatic for her and her husband! I felt no anger, bitterness or self pity. GOD HAD SET ME FREE! I never thought that my sister being pregnant would help heal my heart but it did! God knew exactly what He was doing. I could not be happier for her and cant wait to meet my nephew! I really feel like my heart has been healed from everything in the past few years with our fertility journey. My heart is now open and ready to accept the next journey God has for us.

I wanted to share my testimony to you all to say this. God allows us to walk through these storms and trials in life, not to bog us down or put us in a hole which we cannot get out of, but to allow us to completely and fully rely on Him and walk through Him in each and every circumstance. If you walk through the fire with Jesus hand in hand, you WILL NOT GET BURNED! You may get tired and feel like He isn't there with you in the midst of it, but He is! He will never leave you nor forsake you (Deut. 31:6). People tell me all the time after hearing my story, "you are such a strong person". Its in my weakness that God has made me strong! I am living proof that you can make it through the fire that you are currently walking though. Keep believing and trusting in Him! God is Faithful!

 

 

The Countdown is on!

Well, it seems the time is going by very quickly! About a week or so left till we start the process!!! So here is the rundown of what I know so far. We are waiting for my AF (aunt flow) (sorry TMI) to arrive and then we go in for labs and ultrasound (baselines).... once I do that, I will start my medication protocol. I will start on birth control pills for about 10-14 days depending on what they decide and then start the injectables to stimulate my ovary. I could be doing injectables for up to 10 days depending on how my follicles on my ovary respond. Then we will do the egg retrieval where they will take all mature follicles and fertilize them that day with Keiths sperm with ICSI (where they make them fertilize) and then 5 days after that they will transfer embryo(s) to my uterus where they will have to impant themselve(s) and then 9 days after that we will know if I am pregant! It is definitely a process! There will more than likely be a few hiccups during the process from what I am told but we are going to continue to stay in prayer and trust and believe that Gods timing is perfect and that He is faithful! Thank you all so much for the prayers, support and love you have shown to us through this process. I will keep everyone updated a lot more frequently once the process starts as there will be lots of changes. Thanks for reading our blog!
~Keith and Stacy

The Sacrifice of Motherhood starts today!

Today starts my fertility diet and ALL kinds of sacrificing of my favorite foods! Now, if you know me and Keith, you know we are HUGE foodies! We love to cook fancy gourmet meals, but today that all ends! Today is the day I get my body ready to get pregannt and carry a baby! I am starting a diet that consists of organic foods, gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, artificial sweetener free, caffeine free, and alcohol free. Pretty much I will be eating a high protein low carb diet. Studies have proven this kind of eating shows to increase egg quality and help increase overall fertility. Hey, whatever works!! For breakfast I made a protein smoothie with Arbonne vanilla pea protein, almond milk, strawberries and blueberries! It was delicious! Lunch will consist of a turkey burger lettuce wrap with tomato and hummus and baby carrots and a apple for snack later on.... Its really not as bad as it sounds! Just eating healthy! The picture above is all the supplements Keith and I are taking to get our bodies ready for IVF. I am taking Co-q10 (icrease egg quality), royal jelly (helps thicken uterine lining and increase overall fertility), an extensive pre-natal vitamin, lysine, b12, and omega 3 fish oil. Also drinking Rasberry Leaf tea once a day. I am also starting fertility yoga (a dvd called AM/PM Yoga) that my RE recommended. I will start accupuncture in a few weeks. Keith is taking Conception XR motility support and clomid. He is also participating in the diet! The countdown to start our first (and hopefully only) IVF cycle is about 2 weeks!!!!! EEEK!!!! Getting so close! Keep the prayers coming! We are certainly going to need them!

First IVF test done yesterday

Yesterday I had my first IVF diagnostic test. I was told it wouldnt be that painful....THEY LIED! OUCH! The test is called an SIS (Sonar Insufflation Study). Its basically a test where they insert a catheter into your uterus and inject a whole lot of fluid and then look in your uterus to make sure you dont have any polyps. They also measure how far to insert catheter for when they transfer the embryo(s). Everything looked good! Besides the temporary pain from the test and the fact that the fluid they injected into my uterus leaked out when I stood up like my water had just broke, it was a good day in the fertility clinic! haha I have been taking birth control pills since february to get rid of the cyst I had at the beginning of this year and when I finsih the pack I am currently taking (5 days left), I will go a whole month of not taking them. Once AF (aunt flo) shows up then we will start the IVF cycle! Whoop Whoop! Stay tuned for more fun on the way to making Baby Wooten!

Our Fertility Background

Hey! Welcome to Our Blog! Never blogged before so I am super new to this! Wanted to give everyone a brief (I will try real hard to keep it brief) background on our fertility journet thus far. Keith and I got married on April 14, 2007... what a journey it has been so far! I stopped taking birth control pills a few months after we got married (deep down I thought it was going to take a while) and nothing ever happened! Months after months of disappointment.... I finally convinced Keith that we needed to go see a fertility specialist and see what the problem was.... I was thinking due to my previous ovarian cancer when I was 16 and loss of left ovary that it was something to do with my ovary malfunctioning. We saw a RE (reproductive endocrinologist) at UAB. After the initial tests the sperm analysis showed only a handful of sperm....grrrr. So after stimulating Keiths pituitary gland to make more sperm with clomid the sperm counts went through the roof (not literally though haha) but the sperm had low motility so we needed to try IUI's (intrauterine insemenation). We were told by the doctor we would be pregnant by Christmas. We were so excited about the realistic possibility of being pregnant and having a baby! All 3 IUI's were a BFN (big fat negative) :(. I never in my life (even after dealing with cancer and the tragic death of my father) did I think I could cry so much. I was heartbroken, disappointed, and devastated. I was mad at God. How could He not bless us with a baby? We would be awesome parents! The doctor told us we needed to try IVF (in vitro fertilization) but it was so expensive and we didnt have the money for it. So, we went and got a second opinion with Dr. Honea at the ART program of Alabama. She really felt like IVF was our best bet but we explained we had no insurance coverage for any fertility treatments so we tried another IUI but with injectibles to induce ovulation and make more eggs (targets) for the little swimmers. It was also a BFN. Once again, grieved over something I wanted so bad but wasnt able to have. So, we met with Dr. Honea who wanted us to go the IVF route with ICSI (where they make the sperm and egg fertilize in a petri dish) cause she felt that was the treatment to the sperm issues we had. But we just couldnt fathom shelling out 18k or taking out a loan for it. After all, we had been paying out of pocket for everything fertility related thus far and had drained our savings. So she suggested that we try donor sperm IUI's for our first baby and IVF for our second. We didnt really care about the genetics, we just wanted a baby and I just wanted to experience pregnancy. So after the third IUI with DS (donor sperm) we finally got pregnant!!!!!! I had never been so happy in all my life when that phone rang and the nurse told me I was pregnant! Never did I ever think that miscarriage was an option. I would think to myself, "God would never bless us with a baby and then take it away, not after this long of trying so hard"..... But, God gives and takes away (Job 1:21). Our sweet baby never made it and I had to have a D&C. This was the hardest thing I have eve gone through emotionally. This is what shook our worlds! Heartbroken wasnt even the word I would use to describe how we felt. I never knew that infertility would change my spiritual walk so much. I have never trusted in Him so much, had so much faith that we would be pregnant, and then be so mad at Him in a short amount of time. It was and is a ROLLER COASTER. Keith doesnt like roller coasters to begin with so this fertility coaster is a ride we both wont off! After the miscarriage we wanted a baby even more than before! We tried again and again and again.... (3 more IUI's) and all were a BFN. Crushed again! We were gearing up to try one last time in January of this year and I went in and had a big cyst on my ovary so I couldnt start another cycle. They monitored the cyst via vaginal ultrasound (hate those) and it kept getting bigger so after seeing the RE and the Oncologist to make sure it wasnt another ovarian tumor (which it wasnt, Thank God!) they both came to the conclusion that my body was tired of all of the shots and it needed to rest and recover and that we needed to just bite the bullet and move to IVF. So here we are.....5 weeks out from beginning our first IVF cycle. yay!!!!! The Journey to IVF so far has been interesting! I have been working extra shifts at another hospital to help us get the money we need and we are having a huge yard sale this saturday which will hopefully push us over the top of our goal! We have had an abundance of blessings recently from family and friends wanting to donate stuff for us to sell and even some financial blessings! It has really felt like God is working and ordaining this! We cant wait to start this journey and share with you as we experience it and are asking for your prayers and believing with us that baby Wooten will be on the way very soon!
With Love,
Stacy and Keith