I saw this picture online the other day and it had resonance with me. Reflecting on my past struggles made me realize that I have a lot of scars, not only physically but emotionally and spiritually. Since this is a blog about our struggle with infertility and journey through IVF, I want to talk briefly about some of my scars. When you find someone walking down the street with visible scars on their face or extremities you might find yourself looking at that person, wondering what that person had been through to cause those imperfect marks on their body. What is their story? Did those scars change their life? Well I happen to have several visible scars on my body, most can be covered with clothes but they are there and I see them everyday. Most days I think nothing of them mostly because I see them everyday and I know what they are from. But today I thought about those scars and they reminded me that each one of those scars has not only changed the path of my life but they have made me who I am today. The ongoing struggle with infertility has given me many scars, mostly emotionally but I do have several physical scars from infertility. I literally only have 1 vein in my left arm because of my previous chemotherapy that is stuck everytime I go in the fertility clinic for blood and there is a permanent scar there now. Each time I look down at my arm I see the needle marks there and those marks remind me of the journey we are taking to one day receiving that blessed baby that we will one day hold in our arms and those bruises and marks will seem like mere nothings. As we long for the day that we will hold that baby in our arms, I am simply reminded that the scars are leading us there and even though we aren't there yet, we will be there soon. Every scar physically and emotionally from this journey will not only be there to remind us of the journey but they are shaping us to be better Christians, better people, and better parents that we would have been without them.
Speaking of scars, I received another internally yesterday as I had an HSG (hysterosalpingogram). Its a test where they insert a catheter into your uterus and inject dye under xray to make sure the fallopian tubes are open and patent and to examine the inside of the uterus. It is not particularly comfortable and causes severe cramping. My test went well and the 1 fallopian tube that I have was perfect but OUCH! Today is an exciting day in the process cause it is the day I take my last birth control pill! YAY! Now time to move forward to the good stuff (if that's what you want to call it :/)! Thursday, I will go into the fertility clinic for ultrasound, blood work, and the endometrial scratch procedure. The scratch procedure is new for me this cycle and was added to help the embryos implant this cycle. The doctor will literally scratch multiple places in my endometrial layer in my uterus with a biopsy tool. I am told this is pretty painful and I will not be under any kind of sedation....this should be really fun (sarcasm)! This procedure will increase blood flow and white blood cells in the uterus which will help those embryos attach (kinda like burying a hole for them in my uterus). Then on Sunday (1/5), I will start the stimulation injections! The injections will make those 20+ follicles grow and hopefully produce that many eggs! I will be doing Follistim 375iu+Menopur 75iu a night and will go back into the office on Thursday (1/9) to see how they are growing! This is a significant increase in dosage from the last cycle so please specifically be praying I grow lots of them and do not get hyperstimualted which is a larger risk this cycle. I will update more frequently since things are really starting up now! Thanks for following and reading and praying with us! We are believing and hoping for our miracle(s) soon!
